idk whether or not I'd have gone thru with it just for strangers to read me a certain way, but it doesn't matter cause in reality a lot of my motivation was internally driven. so I wanted to find ways to masculinize myself somewhat, top surgery was one of those ways.īut that's only half the reason ofc! when I refer to transition related surgery as "plastic surgery" I'm only half kidding, because tho I know most others wouldn't label it that way, this is genuinely how I see it personally. my "problem" with them was only that others would misgender me, whether they knew my pronouns/gender or not. so I was literally counting down the days til my breasts would be removed, while also just kinda letting them do whatever they wanted under my shirt anyway cause I couldn't be bothered. ffs I was too lazy to bind at ALL in the months leading up to my surgery, and didn't own bras post-middle school. like, I've joked on here before about how I prefer being topless/nude whenever in private? well this was completely true pre-top as well, I was constantly tits out a lot of the time and this simply wasn't a problem for me. no crying in the mirror moments for me, not over this, sorry.
this is especially relevant in the case of surgery ofc, because I never had a moment where I saw my breasts pre-top and felt miserable over them or anything. I did experience "social dysphoria", but since this was fully in relation to how others were treating me, rather than my actual body or some kind of internal angst, I never felt comfy calling it dysphoria.
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